This weekend was so much fun. On Saturday Harley and I went to Albuquerque for her first Temple Trip. I must admit I wasn't looking forward to making the drive once again, but I knew it would be worth it to get to be with Harley her first time in the temple. She was a little nervous. Grant was able to do the baptism's for her. That made it less nerve racking and a more special. I am so happy that I made the drive I hate to go and do baptisms with her. We arrived back home around 6:30 and headed to dinner with the whole family. After we decided to go see Avengers with Gramps and Susan (they were down visiting for the weekend). Despite it being late, we had a blast.
Sunday we got up and got Gramps and Susan off. We went to church at our new Ward. What a great day. The kids were a little nervous (more Harley then Noah, she has so many good friends in 5th Ward and they are hard to leave). It was so nice to go and enjoy church. It hasn't felt that good in a long time. Afterwards the kids were happy to see that they new quite a few people in the ward and started to make new friends. It was a great day and a great step in moving forward.
Then last night we went out and watched the eclipse through Scott's welding helmet and in the awesome box Harley made. A good end to the weekend. As I sat and enjoyed so many parts of this weekend I realized I have never been so in love with my entire family. I couldn't be happier or more in love with them.
What you ask......I am getting old. How do I know? Well lots of reasons, but mostly I can't deny anymore that I am starting to get lots of white hair. The solution....Hair dye. I guess I am going to have to start coloring my hair again. Sigh. I just can't keep up with pulling out all the white hairs. I find several new ones daily.
I am constantly amazed at this girl. She is such a strong girl. She has had so much to deal with in her short 12 years of life. Through this she has a strong testimony that I wish I had a fraction of at that age. This past Sunday she gave her first talk in church and did the best of us all. She stayed up until midnight the night before making sure she had it just right. She wanted little to no help, mostly just to sit next to Scott and I while we wrote our talks and she wrote hers. I am proud to be her mother and hope I can live up to the high standards she sets for me. I love her so much. I love our one on one time, our chats, and even trying to help her work through the heart ache of life (unfortunately I can't hide her from it, but I am happy she will let me walk through it with her). I love you my Har-Bug, don't ever change the wonderful person you are.
In the past couple of weeks Scott and I finally made a decision that has been plaguing us for the past year. The ever burning should we or should we not. I feel we have tried every other imaginable route the the one we are about to embark on. We have felt temporary relief if any in the previous decisions, but they were not enough to help heal a lift a heavy burden that has been so buried and festering in our souls. I few weeks ago I finally hit my brick wall. The fight left my body and I completely broke down. Unstoppable tear and little comfort came, but with that a huge decision was made. We will be making some changes in our lives until the time come for us to fully heal and hopefully move soon.
With this change I have had a heavy burden lifted from my shoulders. I can feel myself re-awakening like the flowers after a long winters rest. Slowly pushing my way back and opening up again. I have not felt this free and light in a long time. We have yet to make the change, it will come after this weekend, but the relief from knowing we are moving forward is immeasurable. It was the little nudge I needed to help me remember that Heavenly Father is still there and is aware of every difficult step we take. This is an answer to a prayer that has been long running through my heart on a continuous loop that never ends. Finally the clouds are parting and the sunlight is starting to burn its way through the clouds and back into our lives. Peace is filling my soul once again.