Saturday, December 31, 2011


As the year comes to an end I like to look back and reflect on the past year. This year is one I will gladly put behind me and look forward to a new one. This is the hardest year I have faced and hope to ever face (unfortunately I do not think this will be). The year started off with a bang, Scott's Dad was going in for his second surgery to drain blood off his brain. Everything went well and we have not noticed any lasting damage. This was hard for the kids, because a few months before our sweet Nanny had fallen and hit her head. It was touch and  go for awhile, she had surgery to give her a feeding tube so she could eat, she was in a nursing home for several months and in now home with her sweetheart. We are thankful to still have her in our lives and cherish the time with her.

 This year has also given us our hardest trial as a family and as individuals. Through it we have received many answers to questions and have begun the process of moving forward. I also have found my darkest and ugliest side that is just begging to come out. I am happy to say that most of the demons have been kept under lock and key and very much under control. Unfortunately other demons have been able  to seep their way into my life. I have become an extremely bitter person, due to the hurt I have allowed others to cause. I have question beliefs that I thought we a lot stronger then they are. On the flip side of that, I have found strength in myself that I didn't know was there. I have found forgiveness for those things which hurt the most. I have developed such true and strong bonds with friends that are so amazing. I am so thankful in how much they have helped me during the past year. I have been able to more fully realize the difference between judging a person, and discerning what is not healthy to have in my life. My family and marriage have never been stronger or more open. (We still have most days that feel like the impossible, but I can also say we are moving forward). I am also thankful that my relationship with my siblings and their spouses have grown stronger through the trials we have faced this last year. They have been so kind, loving and supportive and that is a great blessing to me. I have also felt a new bond being formed and new beginnings with Scott's family also.

As I look forward to this upcoming year there is much to be excited about. I look forward to having the house all done and in order to sell. I look forward to having a fresh start. It will be good to de-junk the house. It is just to bad that once again we will finish the things we wanted to do just in time to move, well if the house sells ;) I am anxious to see where we will be a year from now. I hope I can look back and say that was hard, but not as hard as I thought looking back on it. I am excited to watch the kids as they perform in dance. I can't wait for Scott to take them on their first bear hunt, they are so excited for this. I love that Harley is wanting to learn how to sew this year, with her new sewing machine. I look forward to the time we will have together working on quilting and her and Kaylee's project of making skirts to donate to those in need. I will continue to cherish and dread the weekly trips to ABQ, hate the drive but love the time with the kids. As hard as things can be, there is so much to look forward to in life. It is just getting past the moment and ourselves to be able to see what there really is to look forward to and what really is important.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011


We had a great Christmas this year. The kids were so excited to get to see all the family, even if we had the stomach flu going around. I was able to take the kids snowboarding one day, they went and shot guns another, they did laser tag, we had our knock-out game at the church with the Lacey's, Chanel put on A Night in Bethlehem, family pictures, and lots of other fun. I just wish everyone was feeling better so we could have had more time together. The kids also had us up @ 2:30 Christmas morning to open presents. We told them to head back to bed after a bit, but Harley was just too excited. She did get a good nap in after church (and some during). We all had a great time. We will miss everyone, but I will be happy to get some sleep ;0)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Our Christmas Miracle

This may not seem big to many, but to me it means the world. This past year has been a trying one, a little (or perhaps big) piece of each individual in the family has been lost. We are trying to get what we can back, but we are also forever changed, the kids most of all. Often this past year I have wondered if I will ever get some of that sweet innocence back. Through many trail and errors and trying everything possible, we slowly move forward and gain glimpses of ourselves back. Yesterday I was able to see in the kids a part of them returning that I worried was forever lost. It may have just been a glimmer, but it was there. The journey will be long, but there is hope to have it return in a stronger and less fragile version of my sweet kids.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

It's Almost HERE

Can't wait for Christmas! It is almost here! It is so much fun having family arrive almost daily! Please hurry and all get here. We can hardly wait!!! Santa was even so excited he dropped off a gift early last night so the kids could enjoy it with the cousins. Today is Scott's last day of work this week and I am ready to have some time with him. I don 't think I have been this excited for Christmas in a long time :)

Friday, December 9, 2011

CHristmas Started Early this year

Thanks to Dad, we received some treats for Christmas a little early!!! Every so often we get points to redeem fro Dad and so this year we decided to replace the WII balance board that we keep meaning to for the past two year and also got the Wii Fit plus with it. I forgot how much fun that silly little board was! We also got new charger for the WII, may the WIImotes will stay charge (ha). I also was able to get a Kindle. I have wanted one forever. I just got the basic, that is all I really need. I really haven't been able to do much with it, but I LOVE it. So much nicer then carrying a book. It also came just in time to get the new book for Book Club that will be starting back up. Yeah! Needless to say, we are enjoying our pre-Christmas presents. Thanks Dad!

Thursday, December 1, 2011


This year for thanks giving we went to Utah. It was a fun and much needed relaxing time. Things were kept low key and stress free, just what we all needed. The kids had a blast with the cousins. Instead of heading out to the movies we rented some from Redbox and set up a concession stand in Nana's kitchen. The kids were in heaven. They each we given a certain amount of "money" and had to purchase tickets and treats. So much fun and I am sure a new tradition.