Discovering myself through running

I have learned a few things trough running that I guess I haven't seen before. The biggest thing I have found out is I don't quit, as much as I would like to at times. If I set my mind to something I am going to do it, no matter how discouraging it can be. This last Saturday we were in Price. We traveled up there Friday night and arrived late, we ate a terrible dinner, and had little sleep. I slept in as long a possible Saturday and got ready for my run. I didn't want to be sick so I had a piece of toast and OJ, not the best but it will do. I went out for my 11 mile run. First of all, what was I thinking, I mapped a hard course, uphill most the way and some steep ones at that. I was tired and a bit dehydrated from travel but ready to go. About half way through I felt good, at 8 miles I could feel the tiredness kicking in, but I wanted to finish. Then the last two miles came. It was pure torture. I thought about cutting some of the run off and making it shorter, no one would know or care. But I would. I made myself do it. It sucked big time, it hurt even worse, I ached in places I didn't know could hurt from running and most of all I missed my awesome support system (Brittani, Britney, Christi and Grant). But I did it, I didn't even walk (except to get a drink and take my goo) and only stopped and stretched at lights. I probably could walk as fast or faster then the last two miles of jogging (not even fast enough to call it that really). So, I can do things if I put my mind to it. I just have to really want it, so I guess most things I just don't care about (ie. have the house spic and span). I also realize how lucky I am to have such wonderful and supportive people in my life and I look forward to running (far behind) my support group again the next few weeks. I hope that we keep running and finding races together. It is a blast and I have loved every minute of it (even the blisters which still come but no longer hurt).

Learning to Drive

SO I was looking over my list of journaling prompts and came across Learning to Drive. Needless to say it brought back a lot of memories, or more feelings. Two times also came to mind, learning to drive a car and learning to drive the wave runners. I wasn't too excited to do either. I mostly was freaked out about wrecking and getting in trouble with Dad (which happened a few times, three to be exact). I remember being so excited to get to drive, have my licence, freedom and everything else we think is great with driving. I was sooo nervous to get behind the wheel and actually drive. I really didn't know what to do, but you just have to do it. Dad took me out and I wanted to cry, but didn't. I was so nervous. It turned out to be better then I thought, but not a glorious sense of relief. Then came driver's ed and student driving. I had a really cool instructor that I went out driving with, but I was so nervous I couldn't think. I remember one time waiting to turn and wanting to be really cautious, but then not wanting to make the instructor impatient. SO, I ended up pulling out too soon and when I should have waited, no accident, just kind of scary (we'd all probably try and go for it now, but at the time it seemed risky). Then came the Highway driving AND using cruise control. That freaked me out the worst. I didn't want to put my fate and speed in the cruise control. That is scary!!! I didn't want to do it, but had to. It was the scariest driving experience up to that point in my life. I kept my foot right over the brake in case I needed to get to the brake fast. That trip couldn't be over soon enough, but I made it (and decided I hated cruise control). Then the final day, you'd think by now I'd be comfortable but I tend to not be in my own skin) I was ready to get home and be done. I wanted to be the perfect student, I wanted to pass. It was the second to last turn I would have to make to get to the house and be done. I was turning right off of 30th on the Knudsen and hit the gas instead of the brake. Needless to say I scared the instructor and made him involuntarily yelp a little. I was mortified. I just gave a little oopps! Then I had to make a left turn onto Foutz, He reminded me to hit the brake and not the gas. We made it to the house safely and I couldn't get into the house fast enough. Surprisingly I passed and was glad to be done with the whole experience.

Learning to drive the wave runner. Now first of all you have to understand that I HATE lake water. It freaks me out. The dirty, stinky water, with the sun rays looking like they want to suck you down under, never letting you surface again. Not to mention that nasty fish, I gag and shudder just thinking of them. I didn't attempt to even get in the lake water (well successfully) until I was a teenager. It just isn't that appealing to me. But I wanted to have fun with my friends. Then one day Dad thought it would be fun to get some wave runners. I was content riding on the back with Brittani, that's about it. Then Dad said I needed to learn to drive the things, yikes. I really didn't want to but really didn't have a choice. SO Dad hopped on the back a gave me my first lesson. He showed me how to start it up and get going. I was fine doing 5mph, not really getting the thing out of the water. Well Dad was having none of that. He squeezed my hand and made me go full throttle. I was bawling, like a teen aged baby. I was scared to death, I had seen my Dad on these things and I didn't want to do 360's and get thrown off (into the icky lake water). I was relieved when the lesson was over, but kept on learning to deal with it. Before long you could get Brittani and I off the things (I still didn't want to do 360's, but jumping waves was another thing). Britt and I would take turns driving, I didn't trust anyone else. I don't know why we trusted each other, but it was a blast and I even somewhat got over getting thrown off into the stinky, icky lake water. It was worth the rush and a good thing, because my husband loves the lake. I still don't love the lake , but I tolerate it. Those are two experience about learning to drive and my hate of learning new things because I hate the sense of no, or losing, control.

Favorite Color

I am stealing Brittani's blogs to journal, because I don't have a list yet so it is how I am getting my ideas. I want my kids to know me when they look back some day and maybe their kids will enjoy it too. So...

My favorite color without a doubt is GREEN! It has been as long as I can remember. I don't think it has ever changed. When I was little I also loved frogs, especially Kermit, and so green was just perfect with frogs. Now I will admit that different shades of green have been my favorite at different times, but it is always green. Right now the shade of green I love the most is the green you will find painted on the walls of my house. Before that it was a sage green, a darker sage painted on all the trim through our first house and the lighter sage of the carpets. It sounds hideous, but I promise it wasn't, at least to me. Now my second favorite color has always been something that goes along well with green, at times it is purple, in High school it was magenta, and right now it is a cranberry red, the colors of my sofa, it all depends on the shade of green I like at the moment. I love color. I love the way colors look together, but I love green. It is very hard for me not to buy everything I wear in green. It is the first color that calls to me, I probably like it because it is a color I can wear and I love the different sades of green it brings out in my eyes depending on what I wear. Green makes me feel good, and not many things do. I could probably go on and on about green, but I won't. Just know that it all stems from my love of green and frogs from when I was little (and wanting to be Miss Piggy, which I could do so well now being the pig I am).

Love of my Life

I just wanted to write a few things about why I love Scott so much and why I am so lucky and undeserving of him. I have been so grateful lately as he has helped in so many ways to let me fulfill my desire to run a 1/2 marathon. It is an extremely time consuming undertaking. I really didn't realize how much. Every Saturday he is so good to watch the kids, and anyone else who can't find a sitter, for about 3 hours without complaint. He is happy to help and is happy to see me running. He takes no joy in running and doesn't understand why I would even want to do this, but he sees that it brings me joy, so he is happy to help. It makes me love him all the more.

The next thing I love are those beautiful brown eyes. They are the prettiest I have ever seen and love to look into them. No need to say more.

Don't tell him this next one, but I love his stupid old man jokes. Yes after the thousandth time I've heard them they get old, but it is so much a part of him, how could I not love it.

I love that he loves me and thinks I'm the best looking lady in the world, even though he is dead wrong and seems to have beer goggles on without drinking. I'll take it though, someone has to think I look good and it is not me.

He is good good with kids and loves them. When we were dating I loved to watch him with his niece Katlyn. I knew he would be a good dad. How many dads will sit and play Barbies with their little girls, even though it isn't exactly his idea of fun. He loves taking Noah out hunting and fishing, and Noah loves it and feels so big. I love that they are already counting down to Father's and Son's, their favorite event of the year.

I am blessed to have a man who is a hard worker, although at time it is annoying when I can't get him to hang out and a side job can wait. He has been so good to help my family out with things in their homes, which in turn helps us out in our home.

I could go on and on, but I'll stop here for today. I just want my children to know some of the reasons I loved their Dad.

Making Valentine's

Pretty much every year we make a homemade valentine for the kids to hand out at school. I am not creative, but I am good at using others ideas. This year we found a cute idea to make ilove pods. The kids loved them and I love (hate) doing them each year. Now that they are done it was fun and they turned out so cute. The kids love having an original valentine to hand out and not just a card. In years past we have done lips and mustaches with a sucker so it looks like they have lips or a mustache when they are eating their sucker (2 years 'cause they liked it so much). Last year was a love puppy made of hearts.

In the moment of making the valentines I completely hate what we are doing and I question why. Today was a snow day, yeah (usually), but they decided to start out with fighting right of the bat. Then we worked on their valentines, more fighting, crying, and whining. Then to the store and we looked like the crazy family with the mother who beats her children and yells in public. I know bad idea to take them out when they are in these moods, but we ran out of materials (aka they ate them) and I just wanted to be done!!! Then I though a much needed drink from Sonic would be good. Wrong again. They kept messing up the order, seriously is it that hard to get three drinks, cheese sticks and an ice cream cone. Finally we left with the drink order right and the cheese sticks, I didn't want to deal with it anymore so Harley had to go without her cone. She was not happy, but I could hardly understand the guy taking the order, and vice versa, the kids were yelling and fighting, shocker. I just wanted to get home. We came home to finish and as I am unloading the groceries the kids fight over who gets to site closest to the the space heater and spill Noah's Cherry sprite all over the floor and it begins to run onto the carpet. Instead of cleaning it up they stand there looking at it and freaking out about whose fault it is and who know what else. I send them to time out, so I don't beat them, clean it up and have a lecture with them. After we all cool off they help finish the valentines and get the house in order so I can heavy clean tomorrow. (Apparently they felt bad) So we are done and the kids are playing nicely until I get them ready for bed and to read a little and it is all done, thus I look back and am glad I did the homemade valentines. I hope one day they will appreciate it and remember it as a fun tradition and not the trouble they got into this year.

Blog worthy moment

The other day the kids and I were strolling around Target checking things out. We stopped and looked at the seeds discussing what we would like to have in the garden this year and what we would need to buy already started. Harley came upon a jack-o-lantern packet of seeds. She looked at me and said (very sarcastically) "I didn't know you could grow jack-o-lanterns" (the package had a picture of a pumpkin already cut out in true jack-o-lantern style in the garden)and in return I said "Do they grow with their face already cut out like that?" and she replied "I think so." It cracked me up at the whit of my child, she gets it from me. I just had to stop and tell her how much I loved her and her whit, even though at times it isn't so funny (when she is mean). Being a part of the Webb family she rightfully comes by her quick, sarcastic whit. Hopefully we can help her learn to use it for moments like these and to not hurt others feelings.