Life has been crazy around here lately. We are trying to get the house all in order to get it up for sale and hopefully moving this summer.I just want to know who snuck in all the crap I am going through and when did they do it?!?! I can't believe how much we have accumulated over the past however many years we have lived in this house. We are getting there and I am getting SO excited and ready. I have my moments of sadness and doubt, but then I get hit over the head with a big moment of "Hey stupid, you are moving in the right direction." I know the draw backs of leaving don't even come close to the benefits of moving. I am so ready to move forward. I am tired of my sad, bitter and lonely times (granted they aren't all that often anymore, but I think the loneliness is the worst). I can't believe how much my outlook on life has changed in the past year. I have learned many hard and humbling lessons. My faith has been shaken to it's core and I struggle to get it back and keep it afloat. I realize it must mostly be pride in my way, but it is hard no matter how much I pray. I guess sometimes when we feel so utterly abandoned by everyone including God and religion, the two things I always thought I could lean on, it is hard. I am grateful my kids are healing and I see their happy selves coming back through. I am grateful for the help family has given to us through this hard time and the help they continue to give and we get ready to move on. I have come to realize that I have to not care what people think about me, especially those who don't know what we are going through and as other spread lies that hurt deeply. I just have to be confident in who I am and in my journey in life and know that I am doing my best, despite how meager it is. I am trying hard not to judge, for I have not walked in others shoes. They are probably doing the best they can too, thank goodness I am not the one in charge of judgement. All I can do is try to create a healthy family and home. I look forward to being done sorting through the piles and piles of junk we have in this house, finishing the many projects, and getting the house on the market.
The school year is almost over!! I am so ready for a break. We have one week left of dance, four more of school and then the fun can begin. It already looks like a fun and busy summer and I can't wait. We will be moving on from the Elementary School stage of life and be all in on the Middle School experience this year. I am ready for the independence for my kids (an myself, to have of Mom not being involved in everything) but at the same time it is sad and a bit nerve racking at the same time. Harley is doing great in Middle School and I hope Noah will be ready for it next year. Harley just did some testing and in Math is 2 1/2 years above grade level. She had to decide between pre-algebra or just going into straight algebra. She pick the pre-algebra. She wants to make sure she understands and gets the basics. Noah also tested high in Math, so we will see what they do with him. New and exciting things to come in the next year. Hopefully some new beginnings too.
