When PMS pays off

I didn't think PMS could ever really pay off. Mood swings, crying at the drop of a pin, irrational anger, feeling like crap, headaches, and the list goes on and on forever. For once it worked in my favor today and probably will never again. I can't do anything without coming to tears today, which completely sucks, but it is what it is. Noah has run out of his singulair, which we can't live without. Back in April we were supposed to get a refill for the next year, I guess the doctor forgot. I am in tears just because I have to call and deal with the difficult doctors office that makes me want to scream at thier lack of personal skills (seriously, why do I go there. Oh the shortage of doctors here). I call and they transfer me to this sweet old lady who says I need to bring Noah in, because his previous doctor, who quit without warning (I don't blame her) didn't make a note of refilling his percription. I come to tears again and am ticked because I don't want to wait a month to get in, now we are considered "NEW" patients at the practice even though we have been going for 5 years now. I ask, amid tears and anger, if I just have to deal with asthma attachs 'till they can get me in in a month at the soonest and I hate this practice for that reason. The sweet lady said she would get me in today with a doctor we haven't seen before. I feel terrible for my emotional outburst, and want to cry again and yet am overjoyed at not having to deal with the receptionists. Do I sound bi-polar yet. So we get ready and go in, I'm feeling good, my emotions are in check. The sweet lady checks Noah in, measures and weighs him and lets me know if I like the doctor and choose to stay with him I shouldn't have to wait more then two days to get in to see him with the kids and call her directly if I am told otherwise. I am grateful, someone who cares. We wait for the doctor and he arrives shortly and we begin talking. All the sudden I am in tears again, talking of the struggles Noah has. It is always evident, and only those close really see how difficult things can be for him sometimes. I am tearing up talking about it, I can tell I am making Noah feel bad, like he has done something wrong, and angry with myself for being so out of control (I tend to keep guarded about difficulties in my life and hate showing my emotions in that way, but no control today). The doctor wants to look into this further and suggests a specialist for us to see that deals with anxiety. I guess be being able to show emotion this time and not hold it in, as in the past talking with doctors, made it seem like something more serious. Needless to say we get to start working with the specialist the end of August. I hope this is the right course. I feel so unsure. I just want to give my children the best life I possibly can and the ability to deal with all that life throws at us. So there is the ONE time PMS might work in my favor. Now let's just pray I get this out of my system today, I can't handle the tears.

4th of July

We celebrated the fourth at Nana's house. We went to Utah to see the family and for baby Eli's blessing. We received some tickets to the Stadium of Fire, where the Jonas Brothers were performing (Harley LOVES them). So we were excited. The Vawdrey's were able to make it down, unexpectedly, so we ended up staying to spend some time with them. We only get to see them maybe once a year. Harley wanted to give up her once in a lifetime chance to see Jonas to hang out with cousins. I love that family comes first. We went swimming, ate too much, and set off fireworks two nights in a row. We also watched the city fireworks from the church. We had a great time. Sunday morning we got up early and went to Eli's blessing in Springville. It was so much fun to finally get to see and kiss all over the cutie. I love all that hair. He was so good and sweet the whole time. Then it was a long drive home, mostly because we were extremely tired. Then it was time to get ready for the Johnson's to visit.

Falling behind quickly

There is so much going on that I can't keep up with anything. We went to Utah for the fourth of July to visit family and go to Eli's blessing. Then the Johnson's have been in town about a week and tomorrow we head to visit Steph and the kids. So I will soon post all that we have done, pic and all. For now I am enjoying my family.

Happy Father's Day

I just wanted to write about the wonderful Father my children have. He is so good to them. When we were dating I was able to see how he interacted with his nieces and nephews and knew that he would be a great Dad, one of the many things I fell in love with and still love. He became a father 10 years ago this September and has been the best. He takes time to spend with the kids. Today he took the on a mountain biking trail and they had a blast. He will do things with them, aka play barbies, even if it really isn't his thing (at all). I could not ask for a better Father for my children, or a better husband. I hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him. Thanks for all you do.

I can't leave this post there though. I also have been blessed with a great Father myself. Dad is always in tune with what we need. Even if I don't want to hear it. He has helped in so many ways. I also appreciate the mother he choose for us to have. We truly have been blessed. I am thankful to have him in my children's lives. We are also blessed to have his Father in our lives too. And, like Papa always says, look at all that has come from him and Nanny. Thanks for the wonderful family I am able to surround myself with.

So Lame

I am not afraid to admit how lame I am. I just don't have the desire to blog lately. I don't have anything I want to write about, and I feel a little guilty. I will blame it on the crappy weather and Scott being gone so much. Really it is I just don't want to do anything. Summer is here and I couldn't be happier. The kids have kept themselves, and me, busy. We did take a break the first week to relax and recoup. Then last week Noah had Scout camp Monday to Thursday from 8:30 - 2:30 each day. He was in heaven and is not far from receiving his wolf badge, with a slew of pins and belt loops. He would be happy doing Scouts all summer. Harley started a cooking class on Mondays and Wednesday from 9 - 10:30 and Volleyball from 2:30 - 3:30 (same days). At first she hated cooking, one of the instructors was mean, and loved volleyball. I told her she had to go at least half of the month, to get my $ worth. She is loving it now, thanks in part to Jacei and Kaylee. Noah has joined the cooking fun this week and does softball on Tuesdays 9:30 - 11. We need to figure out how to squeeze the library in and pray for some swimming weather. That is about all we are up too. I'll try to get my act together but at this point I just really don't care, see the lame coming out again. Hopefully with Scott coming home, hopefully Friday (still up in the air) and no trips in the future (except together or the girls, and kids, trip) I will get my act together, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Bitter Sweet

Scott and I just celebrated 11 years of marriage on Saturday. We really didn't get to do anything, but we were together. We got to hang-out and relax a little. It was fun just to be together, and with Noah too (Har was out of town with the Nygren's). It is crazy to think we have been married for 11 years. In ways it feels like we have been together forever and in others it feels like it can't already be 11 years. Despite all the ups and down that marriage can bring, our love continues to grow bigger and stronger, even though you think there is no way to possibly love each other more, you can. Now the bitter part. Sunday we had to say goodbye to Scott yet again so he could head off to Houston for the last training session, a least for awhile. He will be back Friday and we get him for a week and then it is off to Gallup to help out at the plant there for turn-around. I know it isn't nearly as bad as Steph's situation, but I miss him none the less. I am thankful that he was able to get someone to cover for him over the Fourth of July so I can see my cute newest Nephew and let him know that Mikael can't be his only favorite, even if he peed on Talon for her. Then a couple weeks later we will be off to help Steph forget about the bitterness of having her loved one gone so long. Although, she'll probably be so excited for us to leave by the end and have a quite house again, I can't wait to invade. And that ends my randomness for now (at least in the blogging world).

Project

Beets

So I found a site that offers free scrapbooking classes (Big Picture Scrapbookng). One of the projects is to summer pictures. I decided for my accessory I would do my purse. Then the next is of your garden. I thought, great, I kill everything. I can't keep a plant to stay alive for the life of me (houseplants for sure). I went out to take pictures of the yard and to my pleasant surprise I have a few things to take pictures of. My garden is beginning to sprout, which I never know if anything will grow. I plant most of it from seed, so as I wait to see if anything grows, I convince myself that I have probably killed it all. So here are pictures of things that are starting to grow. I will continue to take pictures as it grows and as we are able to pick things to eat. For most it is not a big deal to grow a garden, but for me it feels like I am accomplishing the impossible.

Cherries about ready to eat and peas starting to grow

Pansies

Asparagus and Geranium

carrots

Radishes